I have been taking care of my mother for the last year and a half. She came to live with my family in October of 2006 after she had a sub-dural hematoma, and a mild MI. We've had our ups and downs as far as her health goes, but she has generally does pretty well now. That is until about the first week in December of last year, She has long suffered from back pain but it suddenly and inexplicably got much worse. After four weeks and a very long month of December we found that she had a kidney infection, so the Doctor chalked up all the back pain to that. She was started on IV anti-biotic and I had to take her to an out patient infusion place to get the iv's everyday for 10 days. That was followed up by 5 days in the hospital because the infection wasn't clearing. So ever since then her back has still not gotten any better and now every time she has an especially bad day she thinks she needs to go to the ER because she just knows she has a kidney infection again. All this has happened at a time when I have been desperately been trying to find a job.
After another 12 hours in the ER you start to have thoughts of if this pain that she describes is all real or is it somewhat put on? She has taken pain meds for so long that I wonder if she is addicted? Now she is so down that she doesn't want to get up and take her meds and lies in bed and wets the bed, making more work and stress for me. I really don't want to have to send her to a nursing home but I am very worried about what will happen if I finally do find a job.
This has been such a lonely journey that I often feel overwhelmed and get angry and snap at her. It all boils down to I really love her but when my sister doesn't offer much help it is very hard to be up beat about it. I could really use the help from my sister but since she is 8 months pregnant I can't really count on her for much, not that she really did anything to help before the pregnancy but that if another story. I don't resent the fact that she can't help more right now but there has to be something that she could help me out with, after all she is her mother too. I know that I probably sound like I'm a little self centered, but I'm just frustrated and a feel alone all the time.
This has helped some, I feel like I have somewhat of an outlet now. If you have stumbled across my corner of the world please feel free to read along. I will try to post as often as I can considering the only real free time I have is in the middle of the night. I'll write soon!
